tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1139730404069524130.post9182281686368716162..comments2023-10-22T05:21:47.289-07:00Comments on The Dirty Pink UnderBelly: Any One of Us Could Go at Any TimeThe Dirty Pink Underbellyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16060961249044941562noreply@blogger.comBlogger12125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1139730404069524130.post-48243344189672742132015-10-04T20:51:12.988-07:002015-10-04T20:51:12.988-07:00Shelli, I'll never forget you or this post. Sh...Shelli, I'll never forget you or this post. Sharing it with the world tomorrow. Love you & miss you. KathiThe Accidental Amazonhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15822350993047533328noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1139730404069524130.post-24062620359469817962012-12-28T16:50:42.386-07:002012-12-28T16:50:42.386-07:00Thank you Shelli. You have a great sense of humour...Thank you Shelli. You have a great sense of humour, I appreciate and respect that, especially from anybody dealing with this mess. I don't remember how I found you, but after the initial "I'm going to die tomorrow" wore off, I've been reading you... just not commenting, needed to get my somewhat drug induced emotions under control. :)<br /><br />Thank you, and I see you found my blog... yeah! I'm slow approving the initial comments, they are posted immediately after that. Very glad to meet you Shelli.Carolynhttp://www.artofbreastcancer.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1139730404069524130.post-4121638554994110912012-12-28T14:49:36.793-07:002012-12-28T14:49:36.793-07:00Oh Carolyn, I'm so sorry to hear of your recen...Oh Carolyn, I'm so sorry to hear of your recent stage IV diagnosis. To hear that ridiculous analogy multiple times in just six months is insult to injury. <br /><br />Thank you for laughing at my little bit of irony. It made my day that you were tickled by it, and I'm certainly glad it made you laugh!<br /><br />If you have a blog, I would love to follow it! Thank you for reading mine. -shelliThe Dirty Pink Underbellyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16060961249044941562noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1139730404069524130.post-61575872229419562662012-12-27T00:21:26.299-07:002012-12-27T00:21:26.299-07:00I was diagnosed stage IV MBC end of July... I'...I was diagnosed stage IV MBC end of July... I've heard the "hit by the bus" comment many times since then, and other statements that make me cringe. I have explained how that hit by the bus comment makes me feel to those I care about, but otherwise I nod and smile so I can escape faster. I enjoyed your post a great deal, and laughed out loud when the bus hit AFTER the fatal car accident... well done! ... also enjoyed the bus stats, kudos to you for actually looking into that, quite interesting.<br /><br />I use a bus analogy in one of my posts - for a different purpose and very briefly - because I have heard it so often. I wanted to write something up about being hit by the bus, but I think I'll just quote you. ;)Carolynhttp://www.artofbreastcancer.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1139730404069524130.post-80283049113853038052012-12-21T11:25:23.003-07:002012-12-21T11:25:23.003-07:00Vera,
"damn, it DOES happen"...LOL! You...Vera,<br /><br />"damn, it DOES happen"...LOL! You made me laugh. <br /><br />It indeed gets tedious and frustrating, re-educating, re-informing people constantly about your condition. Just when I think understanding is growing, someone hits me with "you're not still dealing with this cancer are you?"<br /><br />Your answer is one I think I will memorize (or print on business cards). "No, I will always have this cancer and at some point the medication will no longer work, and I will die from it." Succinct and straightforward. Unfortunately, the ones we educate for the most part can't handle how uncomfortable YOUR prognosis makes THEM feel, so they either revert to platitudes, or just avoid you.<br /><br />Do I want to talk about my cancer and impending death with every person I see? No. Neither do I want them to pretend I am fine, forget I am ill. Great food for thought for the next blog topic! Thank you, Vera!The Dirty Pink Underbellyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16060961249044941562noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1139730404069524130.post-73304596122307136062012-12-21T11:14:56.119-07:002012-12-21T11:14:56.119-07:00Barb,
I am so sorry to hear about your recent Dx!...Barb,<br /><br />I am so sorry to hear about your recent Dx! You must just be reeling. And 5 bus comments in a week? In the week following your Dx? That's just cruel and selfish. Those folks should be told to go play on the freeway.<br /><br />Lots of great and supportive blogs listed in my blog roll list to the right of the main screen. I hope you find all the validation that you crave for each stage of what my Muffin Friend calls "pre-grieving".The Dirty Pink Underbellyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16060961249044941562noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1139730404069524130.post-76450229567111382012-12-21T11:07:20.245-07:002012-12-21T11:07:20.245-07:00BlondeAmbition,
Thank you so much! Waking up [lat...BlondeAmbition,<br /><br />Thank you so much! Waking up [late, after that long night of blogging] to your comment just made MY day! Maybe my week!<br /><br />I could hug you and kiss you and squeeze you for "getting" me! For getting IT. <br /><br />I am humbled that you read my blog and that you find relevance and comfort there. I am thrilled that you recognize the oft irreverent tongue-in-cheek attempts at humor. Thank you for sharing a piece of your story with me, and thanks for pointing me to Salon.com for future fodder. I really prefer alluding, pointing and linking to the work others have done on some topics, and not have to re-invent the wheel. (those early wheels were as heavy as anvils, for goodness sake!)The Dirty Pink Underbellyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16060961249044941562noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1139730404069524130.post-26410285231663416382012-12-21T08:54:00.627-07:002012-12-21T08:54:00.627-07:00I recently read a news article where this young wo...I recently read a news article where this young woman (younger than me, anyhow) did get hit by a bus, and I instantly thought, "damn, it DOES happen." I can't wait to read the next installment. Went to a holiday work party this week and several people asked, "so now you're considered cured? No more cancer? You will die from something else one day?" when I shared that my tumor markers are down. "No, I will always have this cancer and at some point the medication will no longer work, and I will die from it", I said as gently and honestly as I could. The looks I got in return, the tears in the eyes, shock and horror made me wish that I could've just lied and said, "yes, I will be jusr fine". No one wants to hear that you're terminal, and it certainly didn't lighten the mood of the party. Makes me wonder if it's better to just not go, since the topic will always come up when they say, "here comes cancer girl".Verahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09989347069839895451noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1139730404069524130.post-7797871840655075862012-12-21T07:13:09.600-07:002012-12-21T07:13:09.600-07:00Thank you for this article. I was dx'd with Me...Thank you for this article. I was dx'd with Mets exactly one week ago today. I have had at least 5 people use the "hit by a bus" . Makes me want to tell them to go stand in the frickin road. Barbnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1139730404069524130.post-79199766521845563062012-12-21T04:22:20.679-07:002012-12-21T04:22:20.679-07:00I am officially WOWED. At 6am. Blown Away! Awed! I...I am officially WOWED. At 6am. Blown Away! Awed! I need this post laminated and printed on cards to hand out. <br /><br />I'm not sure which I enjoyed more -- the reference to "Illness Poker, where cancer always trumps the flu" or the description of the fate of someone ACTUALLY hit by a bus!<br /><br />No, I am not being cruel or morbid for enjoying this, it is simply so "dead on" (couldn't resist the pun, my apologies) ; )<br /><br />When I was first diagnosed, I admit I was guilty of using a similar analogy to a bus, but borrowed from our friends at Looney Tunes. To make myself (or possibly others??) more comfortable, I minimized my own fears about recurrence by claiming that I never woke up every day worried that an anvil would drop on my head, so why should I live in fear now?<br /><br />Over time, I learned more about BC. That an early stage doesn't guarantee survival; That a bilateral isn't 100% protection; and that not even the doctors know why some patients metastasize. THIS was the "dirty pink underbelly" of BC that no one in speaks of in the pre-cancer world (and that few discuss or acknowledge even within cancerland). <br /><br />Slowly, my thinking began to change. I stopped dismissing my own fears and I relieved myself of the responsibility of making other people feel better about MY diagnosis. BUT despite the statistics in my favor, I continue to feel uncomfortable using the S or C words (ie survivor, cure) as I don't wish to tempt fate. And I'm slowly beginning to integrate some of this knowledge into conversations without freaking people out. But it's still exhausting and it's validating knowing I'm not the only one feeling this way. <br /><br />I don't comment that frequently, but I read your blogs and so many others. They speak to me and are of great comfort. <br /><br />I love your next topic and Mary Beth Williams has written some good pieces for Salon.com about how to speak to cancer patients that might be useful in your quest for articles. She "gets it". <br /><br />Happy holidays and thanks for making my day! xoxBlondeAmbitionnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1139730404069524130.post-49939864864112345142012-12-21T00:40:02.541-07:002012-12-21T00:40:02.541-07:00This post isn't finished. I apparently hit the...This post isn't finished. I apparently hit the post button instead of the save button before closing the window earlier!<br /><br />There's more to come. (oh boy, says she!) <br /><br />And you could never be too morbid with me. One of the things Kathy Tate and I bonded over was our penchant for straight talk about death. If you ever feel the need to discuss details of funeral or your exit strategy with anyone, I'm your girl. <br /><br />It is insensitive to make that remark. They might think they are normalizing the situtation, but in fact they are minimalizing what the person with cancer is facing, and regrounding themselves in comfort land.The Dirty Pink Underbellyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16060961249044941562noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1139730404069524130.post-69948426092812868432012-12-20T20:52:19.706-07:002012-12-20T20:52:19.706-07:00When I was a classroom teacher and had to turn in ...When I was a classroom teacher and had to turn in lesson plans, sometimes we'd joke about leaving things in order so that a substitute could come in and figure things out if we got hit by that proverbial bus or whatever. Strange humor we use sometimes isn't it? I think it's pretty insensitive when people make such a remark to a person living with stage IV cancer. Thinking about death feels sort of strange, but then again it doesn't. I've thought more about it since my diagnosis, but I can't say I fear it. Once you've seen someone you care about go through the dying process, I think it's less frightening to think about your own death. Does that make sense? I remember sitting by my mom's bedside when she was dying and wondering how I'd handle a death like that. It's weird the thoughts that can run through a person's mind. Interesting post, Shelli. Hope I didn't get too morbid. Nancy's Pointhttp://www.nancyspoint.comnoreply@blogger.com