Tuesday, March 9, 2010

I read on the posting site I follow for Advanced Cancer (metastatic breast cancer) that someone who was a frequent poster had died in October. I joined in January, so I never had contact with her. But it made me so sad. Her last post was that she was going into hospice. Then a while later, someone posted her obituary. So, of course, I started googling hospice, and crying, because it's hard when the bare facts hit you right in the face. All the hospice sites show old people. REALLY old people. I don't want to die in the company of sick old people! Is that awful to say?

I know they can come to your home too. I guess I'd better get cleaning...I know I surely have several years, but it will take me that long to get my house ship-shape! I guess I worry about the 'palliative' side of things...wondering how bad the pain will eventually get.

My PET/CT scan results were good, according to the message my doctor left me. He said we'd talk more at my visit.

I spent yesterday feeling guilty about not working, about being on disability. Not a very productive day, and I do have things still to deal with, too many things. But I didn't cry until I read about Lucy (the lady on the website) passing away.

Same things still looming, undone. I think I'll go read a while.

1 comment:

日日夜夜 said...
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