The Grit

I sat down to blog, but decided I was really too tired / too bored / too...uninterested? So, I listened / sang along with / harmonized to the first song on my playlist (Crazy Love), of which I just never get tired. Then I thought I'd better at least leave the highlights of what I got from the doctor today.

I found this really cool purple evening dress thing that just needs like a bolero or something at the Goodwill, for our Ward "Prom" coming up (generically) in October. No word on an actual date. If it's on Halloween, we may have a problem, or I could just fix up the dress to be "MiMi at the Prom"....

So as far as the questions I asked the doctor:

- The cancer is on a couple of places on my skull, and I was concerned with what brain parts would be affected should it break through. He said it just really doesn't. RARELY. So not even to worry about that.

- Median (MEDIAN) survival rate across all metastatic breast cancer is 2-3 yrs. Bone-only is a better shot. The radiologist said she's had patients go 5-15 yrs, and my oncologist confirmed that 5-15 is BEST-CASE scenario.

- Side effects from Femara can abate a little, but usually just end up reaching a plateau (and staying there I guess). But, if the cancer responds well, goes into remission, you get to stop taking the Femara, unless it acts up again.

- We really won't know more about response, etc, until we do a scan.

- Don't think he knew the radiation machine had been down all week. He does now. Treatment was canceled again today.

- He totally supports my desire to start seeing a counselor/therapist.

- He totally supports my fears that I just will not be able to return to work, i.e. double the pain, double the fatigue, triple the stress. So we will begin work on ss disability soon, and he supports that.

- I have Stage IV Metastatic Breast Cancer. (the first cancer was Stage II, finding in lymph nodes made it Stage III, this is Stage IV.)

I love my doctor. He gave me such great sustaining hugs today. I feel a lot better. He doesn't think I need sugar-coating, as my mother expressed fear that she thought he thought. Maybe she needs it. He said he has always felt he could shoot straight with me, and that we have a trustful, honest dr/pt relationship. His office was BUSY today. He was like an hour behind. And he still took the time to let me read to him what I had written, and go over my list. He is so good like that.

Becky and I turned in everything we had so far to the Patient assistance people for AHCCSS or whatever. I have a couple things to get from work and fax.

I didn't take a nap today, even though I could have, so hopefully I will SLEEP tonight before 2:30am.