Monday, July 4, 2011

Happy Independence Day!

 I'm about ready for bed, and the neighbors are just getting noisy!

Changing Meds:

After my 5 weeks off from Femara, the doctor talked me back on to an aromatase inhibitor, and I started on Aromasin. In a week off, when my last blood was drawn, my CEA had risen to a number higher than it has been since my met Dx. I will need to call tomorrow and see what it read after the blood draw on Thursday, after the 5 weeks off from Femara. I also switched from Zometa, to Aredia, for cost reasons. I don't mind the 2 hr infusion time. 

I took the 5 wks off from Femara because I was so upset and desperate over constant weight gain. Every month, it seemed like another 4 pounds. Over 2 yrs, that adds up. The month while I was off, I didn't gain any weight, nor did I lose any, but now, after only a few days back on an A.I., I feel puffy and fatter. How do I reconcile myself to this? All my sisters are LOSING weight, and I just keep gaining. What can I do? My tumor markers say I shouldn't be off of the meds, but I really felt better in the body mass arena while I wasn't taking them. 

I am having pain this week, more than I have in some time. I'm sure it is from starting new meds, starting at almost the beginning, as far as side effects go, like when I started the first meds after Dx. Joint pain mainly. Lower back and iliac pain. Knees. Shoulder. And oddly enough, my left small toe. I think I may have broken it a couple of years ago. It hasn't bothered me in quite a while, but tonight it is very tender, and the tops of my feet near the toes are very prickly-feeling. It's been hard to get up from sitting and start walking the past couple of days, with pain on the left side of my lower back / hip area. Before, it was on the right, so this has thrown me a bit off balance.

It's that time of the calendar rotation when I feel panicked and unable to cope, and feel horrible about always needing to ask for help. This is the way it will always be. It's not like I'll be getting a raise, or over-time pay. It's difficult to accept, just like my weight gain. So this is what my life is to be...always short on money, and always fatter. I may pop before the cancer gets me. 

What a bio-hazard that would be!

2 comments: said...

I don't have mets, but took Arimidex for 5 years & my body ached every minute of it. The only way it was doable was for me to walk every day. If I missed a day, I felt like I was 105 yrs old. I realize exercising is the last thing you feel like doing, but it's kind of a chicken and the egg situation.

Having mets must sometimes make you feel like you're being sucked into a black hole and can't get out. I'm so sorry.

nancyspoint said...

I am struggling with the weight gain thing too and I know losing weight and maintaining a healthy weight is key for me in keeping cancer at bay. I also know my medication is at least partially to blame. Hmmm. Sometimes it all feels like such a crap shoot doesn't it?