I just haven't been able to get myself to sit down and do this. Maybe this weekend I'll be able to fill in the gaps.
- visit with oncologist good; got some more solid info. I officially have a "substantial amount" of cancer on my bones, but it hasn't spread in the past few months. He got a radiologist to do a comparison.
- attended the Cancer Survivor's Support Group at Banner, and they didn't throw me out for getting cancer again! Actually, there TWO other people there with METS! I felt welcome and at home. Considering joining the singing thing they have going twice a month until 12/1.
- paranoid side-bar: learned that ovaries sluff cells, so even if you have had them removed, you could still get ovarian cancer in cells left behind. Yeah, add that to the list to worry about.
- seeing the Primary Care Doc tomorrow to discuss better drugs. I have worn out my welcome, and therefore their effectiveness, with the ones I'm on.
- yep, still not sleeping. May have to change from Femara to one of the others, with their inherent side effects, if new meds don't help me sleep.
That's as much a nutshell as I've ever written, and really avoided the "feelings" part. Maybe I'm still processing. Maybe I'll try bed again!
5 comments:
HEY! I figured out how to add to my blog list! Yea ME!
Shelli,
You must get over the waiting part. I felt that way 14 years ago. I was ready, Oh so ready! I'd still be waiting if I didn't get past that.
If you don't have family to share with, II know there are other cancer patients to help. And if you need it, find a support group from your doctor and don't give up the fight. maybe learn to create art and express your feelings. Art touches people on all levels.
Get plenty of sleep, even if it's 14 hours a day and get out of the funk. Maybe life hasn't turned out the way you planned, but you still can teach others even if it's time to take your bow. Look at what Bob has done for so many, and yet there is still hope. His odds aren't good, but he's not giving up, just planning ahead which we all must do. Find some help to get you through this transition. I've read your blog, you have a lot to offer others!
Peace B
http://beyondtheglassdoor.blogspot.com/
Thinking of you ...
Shelli, first of all, know that you are loved because you ARE! Second, it sounds like you are sleeping but not at "normal" times, who cares, just sleep when your tired, eat when your hungry set timers for appts and meds and forget the rest. Set up a google calendar for your meetings and appts. that will help.
Ask for help. Let people around you know what you are going through. Call you Home teachers and VT's and tell them you need them. Call your Mom and sisters and tell them the same thing. Call you x and tell him Brad is his responsibility. You CAN do this, it's not over yet. You are worth every minute you are here with us and we are blessed for it.
Reading your blog makes me appreciate you being with us Halloween night even more and I can't WAIT for the fire pit party.
That party really was fun! I loved handing out candy to the cute little kids.
I have thought about just "going with the sleep flow"...but my son tends to do whatever I do...plus, I have things to do, paperwork, that i don't do well alone, so I have to be up when people can help. UGh. When it's all done, and Brad is in school, then I can just go with it.
I do hate being up all night though. It's hard being up that late, unless there's something to watch on TV.
You are great! I'm so glad to be in touch with you guys again, and a part of this crazy group. Can't wait for Fire Pit Night!
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